- Early Grandma late mama
- Glam-mama – In her forties
- Young Grandma older mom
- Don’t mess with Granny
- Growing up with Grandma
- No, that’s my grandson
- No, they’re sisters
- No, they’re aunt and nephew
The above are just a few of the titles I came up with for this post.
“How did I become a Grandma and have a five year old at 46?” Even Though I truly know the answer to this question, lately it’s been on repeat in some deep crevice of my head. The question surfaces when I get off the phone from a bizarre conversation about pregnancy with my older daughter. Then, I turn around, to see my daughter (at five) with her pants down still asking me to wipe her butt.
Not that Uncommon
Many grandparents are more dancing shoes than walking canes, more social media than social security. The American Association of Retired Persons. 2018 Grandparents today national survey states that The average age of becoming a grandparent is 50, although many individuals become grandparents even earlier, even in their 30s.
So, Technically I fit in the Grandma portion. It’s the additional five year old daughter that may see a little uncommon. The cool thing is, she’ll have a sibling/nephew to grow up with. If I can just convince my daughter and her significant other to move to Texas.
Adjusting to Grandmotherhood and Re-Motherhood
I barked, snapped at my daughter when she told me she was pregnant “You’re gonna make your little sister an aunt?” It was uncontrolling and rageful because during that moment I was speaking to myself my younger pregnant self. I made up dumb statements “Look at this world we live in now!” And “Do you guys even know how to take care of a baby?” I did not want to see myself when I was pregnant in college at twenty-two. The moment brought up feelings I did not want to address and did not for years; What a fool I had been. How I picked the wrong partner to have a child with. I had no idea what love was back then ( and maybe still now). Disappointment.
My daughter sat quietly. She listened to me. Her strong nature and will allowed me to vent and say what I had to say. She simply said “I’m sorry you feel that way, but I’m having this baby.” This is her. Her spirit has always been level and rooted. Unlike mine. I hung up on her.
It took me weeks to get out of my own way and have a mature conversation with my daughter.
Media portrayals, recalling my own grandparents, and age discriminatory stigmas given to the title still triggers me. And the recording of I’m too young to be a grandparent
I have chosen “Nana” as my “Not-Grandma” name. and while this does not take away the feelings of feeling out of step with my friends, (for I will be the first of them with this title). Or, the feeling of taking on more responsibility and I know all these feelings and adjustments will fade when I hold my … I mean my daughter’s son child for the first time.
Advantages of the Glam-mama life
There are so many benefits of being a young grandmother and older mom. I still have more energy than I might in another 20 years or so. I will happily get down on the floor to play with my daughter and grandson. I will lug car seats and strollers about easily when he comes to visit. It’s amazing too to think that I will hopefully be a part of their life for a long time to come. Not all grandparents get to see their grandchildren grow up and become adults – I may even get to see my grandson have his own children if I take of myself.
Grandchildren and young children are undoubtedly the best anti-aging formula yet. They motivate grandparents and parents to keep moving, learning, and playing. And that applies whether grandparents are young or old, fit or a little slower.